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Jam is made from every part of a fruit, where as jelly is only made from the fruit’s soul.
Most jams are made by liquifying the berries or fruit and crushing them, adding sugar, usually adding pectin and then boiling the mixture.
Jelly is made by washing the fruit three times while still on the vine, anointing it with the 12 sacred oils on its Chakra points and only then cutting it off from the plant in a single stroke using a silver or platinum blade while reciting the Shahada. The picked fruit is then placed on an altar consecrated to Lilbi, the Jelly God. For seven days and seven nights, celibate monks circumambulate the altar reciting traditional songs and prayers. If performed correctly, the soul of the fruit will leave its body, which is burnt as an offering after the seeds are collected for planting. The soul is sucked into an Ecto Containment Unit, were it’s allowed to congeal naturally over the course of 7 years 7 months and 7 days (Finer brands of jelly allow an additional 7 hours 7 minutes and 7 seconds). After that a dash of sugar is added, the mixture is chilled, and finally placed in jars and sent to the shipping departments for sale.
And beware Smuckers, for their unholy black jellies are made with dark magic and sinister fruits. With a name like Smuckers, it has to be evil.

Via Facts

Jam is made from every part of a fruit, where as jelly is only made from the fruit’s soul.

Most jams are made by liquifying the berries or fruit and crushing them, adding sugar, usually adding pectin and then boiling the mixture.

Jelly is made by washing the fruit three times while still on the vine, anointing it with the 12 sacred oils on its Chakra points and only then cutting it off from the plant in a single stroke using a silver or platinum blade while reciting the Shahada. The picked fruit is then placed on an altar consecrated to Lilbi, the Jelly God. For seven days and seven nights, celibate monks circumambulate the altar reciting traditional songs and prayers. If performed correctly, the soul of the fruit will leave its body, which is burnt as an offering after the seeds are collected for planting. The soul is sucked into an Ecto Containment Unit, were it’s allowed to congeal naturally over the course of 7 years 7 months and 7 days (Finer brands of jelly allow an additional 7 hours 7 minutes and 7 seconds). After that a dash of sugar is added, the mixture is chilled, and finally placed in jars and sent to the shipping departments for sale.

And beware Smuckers, for their unholy black jellies are made with dark magic and sinister fruits. With a name like Smuckers, it has to be evil.

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